The 10 best comic book footballers

Surprisingly enough, Roy is NOT No1 on this list! Click below to see more

1) Hamish Balfour Hot Shot Hamish (1975)
The Hebridean giant who first starred in Tiger combined gymnastic grace with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Hot Shot Hamish had a Herculean strike that not only ripped the net, it broke the goalposts in the process. A former caber-tosser, Hamish was brought from a tiny island to play for Scottish League club Princes Park by manager Mr McWhacker. There, Hamish later formed a devastating, if eccentric, partnership with Kevin 'Mighty' Mouse. He also owned a pet sheep called McMutton.

2) Billy Thomson Billy the Fish (1985)
From his position of goalkeeper Billy Thomson often leaps like a salmon. This isn't a mere football cliché, however, it's because he probably is one. Well, half a one anyway. Born half-human, half-piscine, Billy the Fish is Viz's adult answer to Roy of the Rovers. Sporting a permed mullet to match Kevin Keegan's in its pomp, he floats in the air for Fulchester United alongside team-mates Johnny X, the invisible striker, and Brown Fox, the Red Indian brave - who once committed the unusual foul of 'breast ball'. Billy briefly played with singers Shakin' Stevens and Mick Hucknall out of Simply Red, who also had spells at Fulchester.

3) Kevin Mouse Mighty Mouse (1979)
Fatter than Sammy Lee at his most rotund, Kevin 'Mighty' Mouse wasn't your average footballer. He played part-time for Tottenford Rovers and spent his days at St Victor's Hospital, where he was a medical student. Proud stomach, oversized National Health glasses and fat bottom belied his surprising speed and nimble feet. Mouse possessed a vicious swerving shot that almost bent at right angles. He played out his career at Glengow Rangers in Roy of the Rovers .

4) Billy Dane Billy's Boots (1970)
Billy Dane was the sort of 12-year-old always picked last at break time. Essentially, he was crap at football. Then he found a pair of boots that had belonged to 1920s striker Dead Shot Keen in his gran's attic and everything changed. The boots miraculously transformed Billy, who first appeared in Scorcher, into a goalscoring automaton. 'Is this me or Dead Shot Keen?' he would muse before blasting the ball into the net. Typical stories revolved around his granny absentmindedly throwing out the precious boots, only for Billy to discover them at a jumble sale just in time to play in that afternoon's cup final.

5) Johnny Dexter The Hard Man (1976)
Hard in the old-fashioned sense. In addition to his tough tackling and fiery temper, Dexter had a strict moral code . He once delivered a fierce half-time dressing-down to an abusive section of the crowd and welcomed cocky signing Bob Baker by saying: 'Listen chum... cut out the wisecracks.' After leaving Danefield United, Dexter added steel to Roy Race's Melchester Rovers.

6) Roy Race Roy of the Rovers (1954)
The most famous comic book footballer of all. Roy Race began his 38-year career by, naturally enough, scoring the winner for Melchester Rovers on his debut in Tiger . From there his life, which read like a script to Footballers' Wives, was characterised by last-minute winners. Once shot in a J.R. Ewing-style whodunit, Race was twice kidnapped, led Rovers on a 13-year unbeaten run and in 1985 pulled off the impressive coup of signing Martin Kemp and Gary Norman from Spandau Ballet. His playing career ended in 1993, when he lost his left foot in a helicopter accident.

7) Gordon Stewart The Safest Hands in Soccer (1977)
The goalkeeping equivalent of a brick wall. On his day, which was nearly every time he pulled on a pair of gloves, nothing could get past Gordon Stewart in Roy of the Rovers. No matter the placement, power or trajectory of a shot, when Stewart was between the sticks for Tynefield City, he was unbeatable. If luck was needed, Stewart had that covered, too, courtesy of his mascot Fred - a toy skeleton that he kept in his glove bag. He died in a plane crash off the coast of Brazil in 1982, but the Stewart name lived on through his son, Rick, who played in goal for his father's arch rivals Tynefield United.

8) Andy Steel Playmaker (1988)
Looking like a young Kyle MacLachlan, Andy Steel burst on to the scene as a prodigiously talented 15 year old. He had the ability to win matches for First Division club Millside on his own. After turning up for his debut on a bicycle, Steel proceeded to run the midfield, score in a 3-0 win against Brookhampton and read all about it in the Sunday papers with his Uncle Bill (Sample headline: 'Handy Andy'). He made himself unpopular at school by being a goody-two-shoes. The magazine that he originated in, Hot Shot , was perhaps unsurprisingly fronted by Gary Lineker.

9) Jorge Porbillas The Kid from Argentina (1979)
Ossie Ardiles, Ricky Villa, Alex Sabella and... Jorge Porbillas. Signed by Manton County for £335,000 after the 1978 World Cup, he turned out to be a different Jorge Porbillas from the one his new boss, Bert Trubshawe, had been expecting. Rather than being the Argentine World Cup winner, he turned out to be a skinny 15-year-old boy. 'Thees is what I always wanted... to train and play with the great Manton County,' he told a red-faced Trubshawe on his first morning's training. 'I weel practise ard.' Despite a dramatic improvement in both his English and footballing skills, the outbreak of the Falklands War meant Porbillas's stay in England, and Roy of the Rovers, was a short one.

10) David Bradley Mi££ionaire Villa (1976)
In a storyline that long predated Roman Abramovich's arrival at Chelsea, rich-kid David Bradley went one step further by giving Selby Villa £2m to guarantee himself a place in the team. He was completely useless, of course, and consistently held the team back with his inept displays. Bradley, whose story appeared in Roy of the Rovers , also used his wealth to force the club to accept his baffling schemes. On one occasion, Bradley insisted that the entire team played an important cup tie in the new boots that he had bought them. None fitted properly and, 90 blister-inducing minutes later, Selby were out of the cup.

This month's 10 was selected by OSM assistant editor Lee Honeyball. Here he justifies his choice:
When Barry Davies used the phrase 'schoolboys' own stuff' following Paul Gascoigne's spectacular 35-yard free-kick for Tottenham, in the 1991 FA Cup semi-final against Arsenal, he may well have been thinking of Roy Race. But he should have been talking about Hamish Balfour, aka Hot Shot Hamish instead. Gazza's thunderbolt could easily have been struck by the giant Hebridean, who specialised in top-corner pile-drivers. Except that his usually broke the net.

Rather than judging this list on talent, fame and fortune - where Roy Race would have easily have come out on top - I've based it on how enjoyable each character's story was to read. Everybody will have their own favourite, but after polling friends and colleagues one thing became clear: Roy of the Rovers was never going to make the top spot; the storylines were just too familiar. I, and others, recalled turning to Hot Shot Hamish first: we read it before bothering to see what else was in the comic. It was funny and unpredictable: crucial attributes for any cynical child. As I reached my teens, I discovered the delights of Billy the Fish, but, by then, it was too late - Hamish's place in my affections was already established. Race does deserve recognition for his longevity, though, and is at six after Mighty Mouse, Billy Dane and Johnny Dexter.

Near misses included: Ray Royce of Ray of the Rangers, which featured in Shoot! magazine; Gorgeous Gus from the Victor, the aristocrat who, during a match, was served on the touchline by his butler, Jenkins; Striker of the Sun newspaper, who was ruled out because, strictly speaking, he didn't appear in a comic; and finally Nipper Lawrence, the talented footballing orphan who had a pet dog called Stumpy.

http://observer.theguardian.com/toptens/story/0,,1098267,00.html